One Higher Power

Considering the dream I mentioned in the last post, my first reaction was to look up the native American folklore for the symbolic meanings of the coyote and the wolf.

According to a couple of sites, the coyote represents stealth, mischief, intelligence, joking, and ability to recognize mistakes. The wolf represents loyalty, perseverance, intuition, spirit, and guidance. I pondered all kinds of meanings about how these could be reflections of my life - how on the one hand, I was sitting on the side of the fence of a shade tree which represents sanctuary along with the coyote’s symbolism of quick wit and mischief, and leaped to the side of the persevering teacher and the far away shack (which actually was a sort of hybrid of two different places I lived when I was younger) and… all these different things.

Unfortunately, as I started looking into it I realized something after running across a few photos (and thinking more about the dream)… it was actually a fox, on both sides - one grey, the other red.

A fox represents clever strategy and cunning wisdom - which, to me, made a whole lot more sense. I’ve been struggling of late, because of my situation, with a battle of ideas. I’m currently in a bit of a tight financial situation, which I think is symbolized in the dream by both the barren landscape and my picking the few little berries I can find. Because of a situation beyond my control, I’ve also been forced recently into a situation where I’ve had to give up my old “sanctuary” of a steady, well-paid job and I’m currently in a state of limbo… not able to actively pursue another job, but desperately needing to start generating some income - a veritable riding of the fence. I think the foxes represent two different sides, or choices, if you will… of how I can (or “should”) proceed. Either will require a high level of guile, which I believe I can muster up - but they are two vastly different positions. I’ve been doing some soul-searching in the midst of all this… having left my original heart’s desires of art and creative outlets for a highly technical and logical sort of industry (which has been my sanctuary for the last several years). For quite some time, I’ve been feeling pulled to go back toward my creative roots and follow my heart and dreams of a career filled with creativity… but that will be a hard and harrowing road, with no guarantees. In my dream, I was forced into a choice (much like I am forced into now, in more realistic settings). I made the choice in my dream as though choosing the better of two difficult situations - I chose to go back toward the rickety old shack/life and colorful fox from my youth. My wife shooting the fox is an interesting bit in itself… I’ve felt for a long time as though she dislikes my being creative.